Chelsea’s blog

Lately God has really been teaching me to step out in Faith instead of Fear. This has been a huge struggle for me for sometime but it has been more accurate in my life right now.  I have been doing things in fear and I need to have faith and trust God because I know that he is going to see me through these time in my life because I am doing as he has called me to do. I know if I intercede that God is going to interveen what else more do I need.  I am giving all I have over to God so that he can do as he pleases with me!

Last week of school!!! Hooray!! But at the same time BOO!!!!  Part of me is ready for this week to be over for the fact that it is summer time, but yet I am still not ready for everyone to go back to different states.  This is going to be a good summer with a lot of fun to come.  I am going to be a nanny for the Hart family they have a 3 year old little girl who acts like she is about 14.  I am getting the opportunity to impart into this little girl’s life and I couldn’t be more excited.  In a couple of weeks I am going to be taking my best friend back to Kansas for the summer then I will be heading down to Texas for a week to spend time with my family and church to help sell fireworks.  In between all of this I am going to be traveling with Pastor Jason to different churches doing services.  Like I said it is going to be a good summer.  Can’t wait to see what else is going to happen other than everything else that I already have planned.

Yeah the weekend is finally here.  I can't believe that this time next week we will be getting ready to graduate.  Crazy how time flys.  This week went by so fast because I was so busy with graduation decorations and all that fun stuff.  This is going to be a fun weekend but also very busy cleaning the dorms finishing moving and as well as team time.  I am so ready for sunday night to go to POP's and the Monday's cook out.  This next week is going to go by fast just like this week did and we will be heading off our seperate ways.  I am going to take advantage of this weekend and all the time I get to spend with my MC family.

This year is coming to a quick end and I have just really awakened to how close it was.  I am the one who has been the most ready for this year to be over but now that its here I don’t want it to be over.  There is still so much I haven’t learned yet, there is no way it is time for this year to be done.  I didn’t take this year seriously until the last 3 months were here.  I realized what you put in is what you are going to get back to I started to put everything I had in.  I wish I would have realized that sooner in the year but at least I know it now and planning to return next year.  This year has been a rough year for me.  I was physically and emotionally up and down all the time and wanted to quit and give up.  Instead I sought God and counsel and decided to push through till the end.  “Being the first to cross the finish line makes you a winner in only one phase of life.  It’s what you do after you cross the line that really counts.  Ralph Boston”  Graduation is going to be my finish line and that is going to make me feel like I have accomplished something great in life, but its going to be what I do after graduation that really counts. 

I love my mom and I love coke does this love mean the same in both phrases?  The word love is over used in many ways,  The same love I proclaim to have for my mother and my family cannot be the same love I am talking about in my love for coke.  Coke doesn’t even stand in the same importance value that my parents do, do they?  No not in the slightest bit.  I believe we use the world love way to much and it begins to loose value when we use it for important things.  But not only is love over used its under used.  We need to get our priorities straight and know what to like and what to really love.  I tend to say I love things when in all reality I really just like it.  Then when I really love someone I forget to tell them.  Where has the meaning of love went and what does it mean.  How do we get back to the core of what love really is?  Try looking at John 3:16 that is real love there.

Sunday morning during first service I got a phone call from a Pampa number but I didn’t have it in an id for the number so I went outside to call the number back and it was the Pampa Regional Medical Center.  I hung up and shortly after found out that my dad was in the icu in pampa with a major heart blockage.  9 years before this happened he had a heart attack and so they were about to rush him to Amarillo to get surgery taken care of.  They ended up getting him stable when he got to the hospital and ended up doing the surgery on Monday afternoon.  He did well during the surgery and is still recovering he is back home now and taking it easy.  Thanks for everyone’s prayers.  God is so good.

Not 100% sure on how I am feeling today I am a little lost and confused.  We are getting ready to head out to Kansas for the next few days and I am just lost on going.  I am not really wanting to go but at the same time I am.  I am just in a very quiet mood today.  I don't want anyone to be offended by it I am just not really down to talking alot today.  I have a lot on my mind that I need to think about and deal with.  I am praying that God would give me peace about this whole situation and just begin to take control.

What have we allowed to come in our life and define who we are?  Class this morning with Pastor Nathan has really made me really start thinking about what I have allowed in my life to shape who I am.  I look back from when I can first remember things and all the conflicts that I have allowed to define my life in a negative way and be poisoning to my future.  There are things that I faced as a child that is now poisoning my friendships I have with friends now.  From my father letting me down all the time I have a hard time trusting my best friend and the people that are important and involved in my life.  I don’t want to allow all the conflicts in my life to limit me from what my future holds for me.  I am going to start looking at the past and bringing a positive out of it and not a negative.  I want to be able to grow the best that I can and be the woman of God that he has called me to be, but in order to do that I have to let go of the past and the things that I have allowed form in a negative way.  I am moving forward and not backwards I am not going to let anything else impact me negative and form me.  I am going to see the positive and good in everything.  God I pray for strength that there is break through in my past and freedom in my future. 

Have you ever been standing so close to a body of water that you could see your reflection?  Do you realize in the same way the water reflects your face you reflect your heart?  Proverbs 27:9 As water reflects a face, so a mans heart reflects the man. NIV  I have never really sat down and looked as this verse and what it really was saying to me until now.  I decided to look it up in a different translation and the message was the one that really stood out to me.  It says Just as water mirrors your face, so your face mirrors your heart Message translation.  Holy Cow are you kidding me.  To me this is saying that my actions are reflecting my heart, and yea I get that part, but also that my face is mirroring my heart. DANG!!  This is where the phrase actions speak louder than words come into play.  How I treat others is showing what I am proclaiming in my heart.  If I am proclaiming that Christ is alive in active in changing my heart then am I showing that in how I am treating others, friends, leaders, parents?  How can I bash on someone or show hate to someone and expect for people to see Christ shinning through me?  I can’t it can’t be done.  We have to be more aware and on guard about our actions, thought, ideas, words, and looks because they are a reflection of our hearts.  We want Christ to be seen through us in all that we do.  So before we decide to act and speak pause and think about it and know if it is going to show Christ living in you.

Today is a good day!  Today is a great day!  I am the head and not the tail, I am above and not beneath, I am going over not going under!  Anything that comes my way I am going to face it with a positive attitude.  Proclaiming over my day that nothing is going to bring me down today!  Wow…I haven’t felt this good in a long time.  Proclaiming over the day just seems to make everything in the day go by better.  I have been looking back on the year about what I have put into this year, and what I have received from this year and I can’t believe this year is coming to an end for Destiny Master’s Commission.  I wish that I would have started the year out strong and finishing even stronger but I started out weak but I am ending strong.  I know that things have been thrown at me this year from the devil trying to come in and kill, steel and destroy me and I have stood him in the face and said NO!  The other day I started to think back of everything that made me want to push eject too and thought about part of my prophecy Pastor Lawrence gave me at the beginning of the year “you are doing God’s will and you are on the right path going straight and when people start to make turns and life you are going to continue to keep going straight”.  Now looking at that I now know everything happens for a reason and God had a plan for it too and that I am suppose to be where I am.  I know that days are tough and days are good but I am giving everything to God and he can be in control.  I have made so many great friendships and I am going to miss seeing these close friends every day.  So I am going to be taking every opportunity I get to spend time with everyone. So…  Today I will be spending the majority of the day at school, which includes Pastor Lawrence’s class, lunch with Belinda, Ark, then tonight watching Lion King with Belinda.  I love Belinda very much she is an amazing person in my life and I am excited for the future in master’s next year and then moving into an apartment. =D